the louder the music, the better the coping.

So this is not meant to be depressing. It will most likely come across that way, but I am surprisingly complacent about the whole ordeal.

I love my job, I really do. I am so grateful that I am in a position to help people every day. But lately work has been sad and full of kids that can't be helped. It's so frustrating when there's no outlook for them, but you still do all that you can do to help them and their parents deal with an awful situation. It's weird to be at work one day and come back the next, only to find an empty bed space because they withdrew support during the night.

We had a staff support meeting at work which I admit I was not very enthused about at first...sitting in a circle and "sharing my feelings". But it was different and actually calming to know that other people feel the same way I do. Believe me, I'm not one to moan and feel bad for a situation that I put myself in for choosing to work with sick babies. However, I liked that we did a quick check in with ourselves physically/emotionally and talked about our coping methods.

On the way home from work tonight I realized I listen to music at ridiculously loud levels in the car. Though I may not be able to hear when I'm older because of it, it is how I deal with things at the moment. I also eat cookies. The latter of which is not helping with the triathlon...I will work on that, haha. And did I mention I'm excited to get my piano tomorrow?! Maybe that will be a substitute for the loud music listening and spare me a hearing aid when I'm 60 years old.